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Beer Quotes

Below we have rounded up some of our favorite quotes from people all over the world who have praised beer in all its glorious deliciousness. If you’re looking to drink some cold, frothy beer out of personalized beer mugs or personalized beer glasses make sure you check out Glass with a Twist’s wide variety of those glasses and mugs.


“From man's sweat and God's love, beer came into the world”
--Saint Arnoldus

Mother's in the kitchen washing out the jugs,
Sister's in the pantry bottling the suds,
Father's in the cellar mixing up the hops'
Johnny's on the front porch watching for the cops.
--Prohibition song

“A woman is a lot like a beer, they smell good, they look good, and you'd step over your own mother to get one.”
--Homer Simpson

“You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.”
--Frank Zappa

“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
--Ernest Hemingway

“Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.”
--Winston Churchill

“He was a wise man who invented beer.”
--Plato

“Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.”
--Catherine Zandonella

“A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.”
--W.C. Fields

“Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.”
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill

“Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.”
--His reply

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”
--Henny Youngman

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
--Benjamin Franklin

“If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.”
--Deep Thoughts, Jack Handy

“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”
--Dave Barry

“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.”
--Humphrey Bogart

“Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.”
--Kaiser Welhelm

“I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.”
--Homer Simpson

“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.”
--Dave Barry

“I drink to make other people interesting.”
--George Jean Nathan

“They who drink beer will think beer.”
--Washington Irving

“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.”
--For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemingway

“You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”
--Dean Martin

“All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.”
--Homer Simpson

“It only takes one drink to get me drunk. The problem is I can never remember if it is the 12th or 13th.”
- George Burns

“Englishmen are like their own beer: Frothy on top, dregs on the bottom, the middle excellent.”
- Voltaire

“Great beer bellies are made, not born.”
- Anon

“Work: The curse of the drinking classes.”
- Oscar Wilde

“Drinking is bad taste but tastes good.”
- Franklin P. Adams

“Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.”
--Ambrose Bierce

“Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.”
--W.C. Fields

“What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?”
--W.C. Fields

“All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.”
--Dave Barry

“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.”
--Dave Barry

“One more drink and I'd be under the host.”
--Dorothy Parker

“When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.”
--Dave Barry

“My problem with most athletic challenges is training. I'm lazy and find that workouts cut into my drinking time.”
-- Tom Cahill

“A drink a day keeps the shrink away.”
--Edward Abbey